Soul To Squeeze
by Saiya-jin girl
Summary: A series of shorts about Rick and Shane. Starting from the moment when Shane sees Rick in the hospital, going back to their first kiss.
1. Soul To Squeeze

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything related to Walking Dead. The plot of this short piece is just a figment of my overactive imagination.

* * *

"**Soul To Squeeze"**

The person on the bed did not look like Rick Grimes. To Shane, he looked like a tired shell of Rick Grimes; someone who had been hurt, someone who did not want to open his eyes because he was afraid of what he would see. Shane stood at the edge of the bed staring at Rick, drinking in the sight of him. It had been over a week since he had come to see him and the last bouquet of flowers that he had brought had already died and withered. He noted that the hospital staff hadn't even been bothered to pick up the petals that had fallen to the floor. Two of the dried petals had even found their way under Rick's palm. How they had gotten there, he would never know. He liked to think that this was a big trick that Rick was playing on him; that one day he would come in and he would be sitting upright eating oatmeal with honey and he would be smiling at him. He would say to Shane _Gotcha! _And Shane would be mad for a few moments, but then he would forgive him quickly. He would close his eyes for a moment as his hand rested on the doorknob to the hospital room, hoping, praying even, that Rick would be awake, but every time he pushed the door open, he would be greeted by the same sight of his best friend with his eyes closed.

Once, a doctor had come in to check on him. Shane stood anxiously in the corner as the doctor checked Rick's vitals and flashed a small light into his eyes. There had been no response and Shane felt the knot in his throat tighten. The doctor looked up at him with a resigned expression on her face. _I'm sorry. He's still the same, _she had said. He remembered the sound of her shoes as they clicked out of the room. She had closed the door behind her. The tears threatened to fall out of his eyes and down his face but he took several deep breaths and held it together. He took one last look at Rick and left, heading straight to the bar where he could nurse whiskey on the rocks. It would numb the pain for a little while.

Today he sat on a chair at the edge of the bed. He had replaced the dead flowers with new ones. Today he had chosen a bouquet of purple irises peppered in with some large, yellow sunflowers. The yellow had made him smile, something that he hadn't done in a long time. He picked up all the dead petals from the ground and threw them in the garbage. He took the two petals that had been under Rick's hand and placed them in his pocket. All he wanted to do was reach out and hold Rick's hand, but he knew the minute he touched him someone would come in and catch him. The last time he came to visit, Lori and Carl had been inside and he had turned on his heel and left the hospital as quickly as he had come. He couldn't face Lori now, and he knew Carl would be sitting there, quiet as a mouse, eyes red from crying for his dad. Shane knew that Rick would have wanted him to be there with them to comfort them in his absence, but Shane couldn't bring himself to do it.

Today, he found his hand slowly creeping closer and closer to Rick's. He just wanted to hold it for a moment and give it a squeeze. He just wanted to let Rick know that he was there for him. Taking a glance at the door, he pulled his chair closer to the bed and reached out for Rick's hand. The knot in his throat tightened and he threaded his fingers with Rick's. He squeezed Rick's hand tightly. _I'm here for you buddy, I'm here, and I just wanted you to know that. _He finally let go of Rick's hand after a few minutes and then let go a sigh of relief. He stood up and suddenly, feeling bold; he ran his fingers through Rick's hair. It was just as soft as it had always been and he found himself laughing as several tears finally slipped out of his eyes. He wiped them away quickly with the back of his hand and then closed his eyes. He would skip the bar tonight. Tonight he would go to the diner, but he would take Carl and Lori with him. _I'm sorry it took me so long, Rick, _he said to himself. _But I promise you, I'll take care of them. I'll look after them until you get back, Rick, from wherever you are right now. _Shane leaned over and kissed Rick on the forehead. _I love you, _he whispered. He touched his pocket where the two rose petals lay nestled and he felt the knot in his throat loosen. For a moment, he swore he saw the ghost of a smile on Rick's lips, but he knew it was just his mind playing tricks. He left the hospital and climbed into his truck. He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled down to Lori's number. He pressed the call button and waited for her to answer.

* * *

**AN**: Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think :) Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	2. Sex and Candy

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything related to Walking Dead. The plot of this short piece is just a figment of my overactive imagination.

* * *

"**Sex and Candy"**

"Ass hole."

"Shut up, dumb ass."

Rick was rubbing his arm where Shane had hit him very hard only moments ago.

"You're lucky I didn't hit that pretty little face of yours, then it would have been a problem. Could you imagine going home with a black eye?" Shane asked.

Rick shook his head and got up from the couch and stretched.

"Speaking of home, I should probably head there now. I know Lori must be wondering where the hell I am."

Shane sucked his teeth and took a long swig of his Heineken.

"Fuck that shit. You're a grown ass man."

"Yes, a grown ass man with a wife and a young child. I need to go home, Shane."

Shane glared at Rick and then slowly rose from the couch. He walked up to Rick and leaned up against him. He placed his lips to Rick's ears and smiled.

"I never gave you permission to leave," he whispered.

A smile slowly spread itself across Rick's face. He turned around to look at Shane who was also grinning evilly. Shane took another sip of his beer and then leaned toward Rick. They kept their distance for only a short moment before Rick gave in and kissed Shane on the lips. He could taste the bitterness of the beer in his mouth and the faint flavor of cigarettes.

"You taste good," Rick whispered to Shane.

Shane grinned. "So do you, Sheriff." Shane's hands found themselves unbuttoning Rick's jeans. He felt Rick stiffening up and he smiled. "Greedy," he muttered as he pulled Rick's jeans down. "No underwear today?" Shane asked incredulously, looking up at Rick.

Rick laughed and guided Shane's head toward his hard on. Rick groaned as Shane took him in his mouth and he buried his fingers in Shane's curly mane. Within a few minutes, Rick felt himself getting ready to let go. He came into Shane's mouth and he swallowed it down with a flourish.

Shane then slowly pulled Rick's jeans back up around his waist. He zipped it and buttoned it and then he leaned forward and kissed Rick on the mouth.

"Tell Lori I said hello, will you?" he whispered nastily.

"Fuck you," Rick said.

"Play nice, Sheriff."

"I always play nice."

"Do you still fuck her?"

Rick turned away from Shane and began to gather up his things. He picked up his wallet and shoved it into his back pocket. He sat down on the couch and shoved his feet into his boots. He began to lace them up tightly as Shane hovered over him.

"I'm going to take your silence as a yes."

"She's my wife, Shane."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"I married her, I can't not have sex with her."

"But you can have sex with me on the side, whenever you feel like it. Whenever her tits become too much for you to handle, you can just come on down to Shane's and fuck him because he doesn't matter?"

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

"Shane, you knew that this could only go so far. You knew that when we started this. You know I love you but I…cheating on Lori is bad enough."

"It's always about her. I should fuck her one day too to see what all the fuss is about."

"Shane come here."

"No."

"Come on, stop being a baby."

Shane glared at Rick but eventually slouched over to the couch and plopped down next to him. Rick took a deep breath and turned to face Shane.

"Shane, look, I've known you almost all my life. I love you in a way I could never ever love anyone else, and what we do, what we share, it makes me love you even more. But you and I both know, we could never survive in this town if we were together. And I love Lori too, and Carl, he's my son. And I can't just desert them. I need you to promise me something."

"What?" Shane asked sounding surly.

"I need you to promise me that if anything happens to me, you'll take care of them."

Shane looked up at Rick with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Rick, man, you know you don't even gotta ask."

Rick nodded and reached out for Shane's hand. He laced their fingers together and brought Shane's hand up to his lips. He kissed Shane's knuckles and then he closed his eyes.

"If I could be anywhere forever it would be right now, in this moment. Promise me, Shane, promise me you'll take care of them."

"I promise, Rick."

Rick leaned forward and placed his forehead on Shane's forehead. They both sat together for a few moments and then Rick pulled away.

"I gotta go," Rick said.

Shane nodded and reached for his beer. He watched Rick as he picked up his duffel bag and swung it on his shoulder. When the door clicked shut, Shane reached in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. He lit one and smoked it slowly, watching the white cloud of smoke as it danced in the air around him.

* * *

AN: Well, thanks for reading, I'm going to work on posting another short piece soon! Please review and let me know what you think. I apologize, I'm not too good with writing the smutty stuff!


	3. The Best Man

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything related to Walking Dead. The plot of this short piece is just a figment of my overactive imagination.

* * *

"**The Best Man"**

Shane adjusted Rick's tie and chuckled.

"Never thought this day would come," he said. He stepped back to observe his work. Rick turned to face himself in the mirror.

"Not bad," he murmured. Rick took a deep breath and then turned back to Shane.

"Do you think this is the right thing to do?" he asked.

Shane chewed on his bottom lip and then shrugged. "I mean she's pregnant…"

"I know, and I care for her…but…I still feel like this whole thing is just…happening all too fast."

Shane pulled a small black box out of his pocket. He flipped it open and on the cushion sat a plain gold band. "Well this is your chance then, to leave and never look back. Last call…" he said before snapping the box shut. He walked over to the wooden door and turned the lock.

Rick heard the soft click and felt his breath hitch in his throat. He felt butterflies in his stomach and his legs felt like they were suddenly made of tapioca. He had never felt this way before.

Shane walked up to him and adjusted Rick's tie once more. Shane suddenly felt hot and his mouth was very dry.

"You know, I never thought this would happen."

"Please Shane, not now," Rick pleaded softly. He leaned forward and placed his forehead against Shane's forehead. He closed his eyes and inhaled Shane's scent. So many things came rushing to mind. He smelled Shane's favorite cologne, the one he had worn for years. Hiding beneath that was the faint smell of cigarettes, which always seemed to linger around him. He smelled coffee from Shane's breath and he smelled something that was always there…something that could only be described as Shane. This smell comforted him. He felt his heart slow down and his breathing became steady again.

Shane pulled away from Rick and walked over to the window. He took a deep, steadying breath and braced his hands on the windowsill. "I'm always the one, the one to get left behind," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Rick felt as though he couldn't move.

"I didn't want much, I just wanted you, and I guess that was just asking for too much. Just to have you for myself."

Rick opened his mouth to reply but found that he had no words to say. He searched his mind for the right thing to say to console Shane but he knew that nothing would pacify him.

"You know I never meant to hurt you. You know that."

"I know. I'm the stupid one. I hang around because…well shit I don't know why I hang around."

"But we both had girlfriends. We both—"

"Yeah but I didn't marry none of them," he said venomously. He turned around and Rick could see tears shimmering in his eyes.

Rick felt as though his heart had leapt into his mouth. He walked over to Shane and looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, you know I love you, but I have to think about the baby-"

"Yeah, yeah, the baby," Shane said. He turned around and faced the window. He looked outside and he saw the chairs that had been set up for the wedding. Most of the seats were taken and he could see several people walking around making last minute adjustments to decorations and other things.

"Shane, Shane look at me," Rick whispered.

Shane turned around slowly to face Rick. His face was contorted with emotions.

"I didn't think I would feel like this, that I would act this way. I thought I would be okay with it, it's just…seeing you all dressed up like that…tie…suit…ring…it just makes me feel…different."

Rick pulled Shane into an embrace and kissed his forehead.

"You know you'll always be in here, always," Rick said touching his chest.

Shane looked up at him and smiled. "Man, I feel like a real ass right about now."

Rick leaned forward and slowly kissed Shane on the lips. When they broke apart, Rick adjusted Shane's bowtie.

"I like this tie on you," he said with a grin.

"I like you better with no clothes on," he shot back.

There was a knock on the door and a muffled voice came through. "Rick, we're just about ready for you outside!"

"I'll be out in a minute!" he yelled back.

They heard the sound of heels receding as the person walked away.

"This is it, your last chance," Shane said ruefully.

"What would you have me do? Run away?" Rick asked bitterly. "You're the one who never wanted to…you never wanted us to exist outside. I was okay with it you know. I would have dealt with all the shit that would come our way from both of our families. This is a new age, it would have been easy."

"So you're saying that this is my fault? That you fucked Lori and got her pregnant and now you're marrying her and that's all my fault?"

"Well if you hadn't been so fucking scared of the truth, we wouldn't be here now."

"Yeah we'd be dancing around in the street wrapped in fucking rainbows!"

"See, that's what I'm talking about. The fear…the, the irrational fear that people will see you as something less because you've fallen in love with a man instead of a woman."

"And you think you would have been okay with that? With me and you walking down the street holding hands like a couple of ho—"

"Don't say it Shane. Don't fucking say it. You know what you are. You're just fucking scared of it. You can do everything else except that, except accept yourself for who you really are."

"Don't tell me who I am. I know who I am." Shane said angrily.

"Oh yeah, who the fuck are you?" Rick asked.

"I'm just your best man." Shane said quietly. "I'm just the one who was always there to pick up all the pieces. I'm the one who loved you and who stood by you through everything. Even through _this_ bullshit, I'm still here. And you're the one who's getting married. If you were so fucking okay with what you are, why the fuck would you marry Lori? Why the fuck would you do it?"

"Because I knew you never would."

"My fault. Like I said before," Shane muttered. He walked over to the door and unlocked it. "Come on Sherriff, it's time for you to get married." He swung the door open and left Rick standing in the room alone.

Rick felt like curling up on the floor in a ball. He felt empty inside, as though Shane had just ripped something out of him and had left him standing there, bleeding. He felt tears in his eyes and he blinked rapidly so they would go away. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror and fingered a small scar on his chin where Shane had punched him years ago. He still remembered the stinging as Shane's high school ring had cut through his flesh. He had been bleeding and Shane had ended up throwing his ring out the window to show Rick that he was sorry. Why _was_ he marrying Lori? Was it because he was even more scared than Shane was? And soon, he would be a father, something he wasn't even sure he was ready to be. When it all boiled down, he knew the only thing he ever really wanted was Shane. But now, he had new responsibilities and he couldn't do what his father had done to him. He fixed the rose that had been tucked into the pocket of his suit and took a deep breath. He heard footsteps in the hallway and quickly turned his head thinking it was Shane. It wasn't Shane; it was his older sister Melinda.

"Rick, you okay?" she asked.

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine Mel, you guys ready for me?"

"Yes, we are. Everyone is waiting. Come on, let's go," she said. She extended her hand to Rick and he grasped onto it tightly.

"I can't believe it, I'm getting married."

"I know. Look, you know I love you right?" she said softly.

"Yeah, I love you too."

"Are you sure that this is what you want to do? I mean…you and Sh—"

"No, please, not here."

"No, Rick, this is it. I mean…I'm sure you and him—"

"Mel…I appreciate it. But we can't…he's…not ready for that kind of lifestyle, and to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm ready either."

"So you're just going to live a lie?"

"I love Lori, and I'm excited about our baby."

"But you love Shane."

"We'll figure it out. We always do," he said. He absentmindedly fingered the scar on his chin.

"Alright then, lets go Mr. Grimes," she said.

Rick smiled and hugged Melinda. He felt less empty, somehow, but he knew when he finally saw Shane standing outside, it would be a different story.

Outside, Shane was standing at the altar, waiting for Rick to come outside. He nervously fingered the ring in his pocket. His hands were sweaty. The crowd quieted down when Rick walked down the aisle. He looked at Shane and smiled. Shane managed a small smile and a nod and then he looked away from Rick, the knot in his throat was tight and he knew anything could send him over the edge. Shane watched as Lori came down the aisle next. She looked beautiful in her dress and veil. She was glowing and she grinned at Shane and waved. He smiled back and waved dutifully. Shane felt as though he was in a daze, and finally when the priest called for the rings, he found himself wanting to run away.

The priest looked at him and smiled kindly. "Son, can we have the ring?" he asked.

"Oh, shit, yeah," he said.

The crowd chuckled.

As he pulled it out of his pocket, it slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor. A small gasp rose from the crowd and he nervously smiled and waved. "Don't worry folks, I got this!" he said. He picked up the ring from the ground and handed it to Rick. Their hands touched for a brief moment and he quickly gave Rick a short hug. He walked back to his spot and stood there as Rick and Lori exchanged rings. When it was all over, he exhaled. Rick and Lori held hands and walked down the aisle together. Shane felt as though his legs were glued to the spot and he could not move. As Rick and Lori walked down the aisle, Rick turned around briefly and smiled at Shane. He touched the spot on his chin and then continued walking down the aisle. Shane looked down at the ground, knowing that his eyes were filling with tears. He remembered now, the chin, the fight, his ring.

"Hey Shane, you okay?" asked Melinda.

He looked up quickly. "Oh, hey Mel, I'm fine. Just a little…overwhelmed. It's crazy. Rick is all grown up now."

"Yeah, I guess he is. He loves you, you know that right?"

Shane nodded and stared off into the distance. "Yeah I know," he said.

"Come on, let's go get some cake," she said. She linked her arm with Shane's and guided him down the aisle.

"Cake would be good right about now," he said with a grin.

"Cake is always good," she said with a smile.

Shane leaned over and kissed Melinda's temple. "You always know what to say," he said with a smile.

"I'm better for listening, I _am _a therapist you know. You know you can always talk to me, about _anything._"

"I know, Mel. Thanks," he said. He squeezed her hand affectionately. "Now come on, let's get that cake." He held Melinda's hand tightly and felt some strength return to his limbs. He walked with her into the reception hall. He saw Rick and Lori sitting at the head table, and he saw an empty space next to Rick's seat. When Rick saw him, he smiled and excitedly motioned for Shane to come and take his seat. Melinda urged him on with a smile.

"Go on best man," she said.

He let go of her hand and walked toward the table where Rick and Lori sat. He pulled out the chair and sat down gingerly.

"I thought you weren't going to come," Rick whispered.

"You know I wouldn't miss this for the world," he whispered back.

Rick reached over and gripped Shane's hand tightly under the table. "You know I couldn't do this without you," he said.

"I know, buddy. I know."

* * *

**AN: **Let me know what you think! Please review :-)


	4. You and Tequila

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything related to Walking Dead. The plot of this short piece is just a figment of my overactive imagination.

* * *

"**You and Tequila"**

"Congratulations I guess," Shane said.

Rick was sitting on the floor of Shane's living room nursing a glass of whiskey. "I can't believe it," he said. He took a gulp of the whiskey and made a face as it went down his throat. "How do you drink this stuff?" he asked.

Shane shrugged and took a pull on his cigarette. "Just shut up and swallow it down," he said with a wolfish grin.

"How the fuck do you not have beer in this apartment?" Rick asked. He put the glass to his lips and swallowed the whiskey down in one gulp. It burned his throat and finally landed in the pit of his stomach where it continued to churn around his insides.

"Well, you were always the one who did the fucking grocery shopping," Shane spat angrily.

"Why are you so mad all the time?" Rick asked. He placed the glass down on the floor and rose up. He walked over to Shane and slipped his arms around his waist.

Shane angrily shrugged him off and moved away from Rick. He plopped down on the couch and groaned.

"What is it?" Rick asked.

"Forgot to pay my rent."

"Do you have enough money?" Rick asked.

Shane rolled his eyes. "Of course I have money."

"Well why didn't you pay your rent?"

"Why the fuck do you even care?"

"So let me get this straight, because Lori and I are having a family…you think it's okay for you to be a complete asshole to me?"

"I'm not being an asshole, I'm always an asshole," Shane said flatly. He pressed his cigarette into the ashtray on the table.

Rick walked over to Shane and sat next to him on the couch. He tentatively reached out and placed his hand on Shane's leg.

"Don't push me away, Shane," he whispered.

Shane rolled his eyes again and shoved Rick's hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me anymore," Shane said venomously.

"You don't mean that."

Shane shook his head and laughed. "You don't get it, do you? You're so used to just getting what you want. You bat those eyelashes and everyone just falls on their knees for you, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't get to have it all, Rick. You can't…do the whole loving husband and father and have me on the side. It ain't right, and you know it."

"So what are you talking about here, commitment? Because I've tried this with you before many times and that went nowhere. Sometimes you have to accept that shit changes. It gets different."

"So why do we have to stay the same?" Shane asked.

"Because it's fun," Rick said.

Shane looks up at Rick. He is rendered momentarily speechless.

"That's all it is? Just…fun?"

"No, no of course not, that's not what I meant. It's…I love you, Shane. I love being with you—"

"Cut the shit. You're right, things change, people change. You've changed. You have other…obligations now…"

"Don't do this…" Rick pleaded.

"Do what? Every time I feel ready to take a step forward you pull me back," Shane said sadly.

There was a very pregnant moment of silence. The air in the room was thick. Rick feels his tongue becoming heavier as he tries to say the words that have been lodged in his throat since he walked through Shane's door. He looks at Shane's face, at the hair that he had so often run his fingers through, at the neck where he left hickies and Shane would pretend it was from some girl, at the chest where he had cuddled up next to him on so many nights when he couldn't sleep after he had been in the car accident. He looked at Shane and he saw a whole life, he saw years and years of time spent together, their slow progression from enemies to friends to eventual lovers.

Shane looked at Rick and he wanted to reach out and kiss him. He wanted to tear Rick's clothes off and make love to him for hours like they used to when it was young and new. He wanted to get drunk with him and then watch TV or drive out to the lake and watch the stars. He wanted to stay here, inside with him, comfort him…love him. Shane looked at Rick's hands. The hands he had come to know so well; the hands that had come to know him even better than he knew himself. Shane wanted to bury himself inside of Rick, he wanted him but he knew now that he could no longer have him.

"Rick, I love you, but I really can't do this anymore. I never wanted to do one of those shitty…it's me or her things, and I won't. I won't do that. I know that…whatever you have with her must be special. I mean you're gonna be a daddy, how great is that?"

Rick nodded. He felt numb.

"Shane I…there's something else I have to tell you," he began.

Shane looked up at him.

"We ah…I…proposed to her…and she said yes," Rick said.

Shane nodded. "Well…I suppose that was only natural," he said quietly.

Rick remained silent.

"Congratulations again, I guess," Shane said. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled out two. "I don't have any cigars so this will have to do."

Rick watched as Shane lit the cigarette and passed it to him.

"The Sherriff gets a baby and a wife all in one day," Shane said coolly.

Rick winced. He knew Shane only called him the Sherriff when he was terribly upset. Not yelling and ranting and raving upset, but a boiling anger that was terrible because it was so quiet. Shane could clam up for days, he would probably do something stupid like get a tattoo or drink so much tequila that he would be hung-over for days. But the worst part of it all was that Shane would disappear. He would turn his cell phone off and he would be a ghost. He knew that no matter what Shane said, he would never forgive him for this, for ruining what they had.

"I feel like all I do now is apologize…" Rick said.

Shane shrugged.

"That's all some people can do. Some people can't even do that much."

Rick's cell phone suddenly rang, jolting them both back into reality. "Hello? Oh, hey honey, how are you feeling? That's good. Listen, I'm hanging out with Shane for a bit so I'll see you soon okay? I'll give you a call when I'm leaving, bye. Love you too."

"You should get going," Shane said.

"I don't want to go," Rick said stubbornly.

"You don't get to do this. You don't get to have both," Shane said angrily. He got up and squashed his cigarette in the ashtray. "You're welcome to stay if you want, but I'm heading out," he said, walking in the direction of his bedroom. He emerged moments later with his jacket on. He shoved his wallet in his pocket and he sat down to put his boots on. When he finished tying is laces he turned to Rick.

"Lock up before you leave," he said.

Rick nodded and did not watch him as he left. He flinched when he heard the door slam. He rose up from the couch and walked into Shane's bedroom, their old bedroom. Some of his things were still scattered around. He saw his hairbrush that he had been looking for on the bedside table. The room smelled clean enough but it mainly smelled of Shane. He looked at the bed. Half of the sheets were falling off the bed and the comforter dragged on the floor. He fixed the sheets and fluffed the pillows. Then, he kicked his shoes off and slipped his jeans off. He climbed into the bed and pulled the familiar blanket over him. He reached over and turned off the lamp, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

**AN**: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I would really appreciate reviews, suggestions, and/or comments lol. I know these last two chapters have been depressing and sad, but I think the next one will be a little more lovey dovey and romantic...I'm not too good at that stuff though but I'll give it a shot.

Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know what you think!

Thanks!


	5. Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything related to Walking Dead. The plot of this short piece is just a figment of my overactive imagination.

* * *

**"Happy Birthday"**

"Happy Birthday, man," Shane said. He handed Rick the small shot glass that was filled to the brim with Patron. Rick grinned at Shane and accepted the shot glass. He licked his hand and sprinkled some salt on his wet skin. Shane did the same.

"To many more," Rick said ceremoniously.

They clinked glasses, licked the salt and then swallowed the fiery liquid down.

"Wooh!" Shane exclaimed. He watched Rick as he quickly sucked on a lime wedge. Rick pushed the small bowl over to Shane and he shook his head. He let the tequila settle in his stomach. He felt something warm tingle in his cheeks.

"Another fucking birthday man," Rick said sourly. He signaled the bartender for another round.

"Another crazy year," Shane muttered.

The bartender placed two more shots down on the bar and took their empty glasses away.

"How many of these have we had, man?" Rick asked.

Shane shrugged. "You can never have too much tequila," he said grinning.

"Oh yeah? Who told you that?"

"My daddy."

Rick cocked an eyebrow. "Bottoms up!" he said before he took the shot.

"Hey boys."

Rick and Shane both turned at the sound of their friend Cheryl.

"Cheryl, where you been!" Shane exclaimed. He pulled her into his arms and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

She rolled her eyes and pushed Shane away. "Gross, Shane. Happy Birthday, Rick," she said. She pulled out a small package from her purse and handed it to him awkwardly. "It's nothing big, but, you've been a real good friend to me and I just wanted to get you a little something," she gushed.

"Aw Cheryl, you didn't have to do that," he said as he accepted the gift.

"Oh, I wanted you guys to meet my cousin, Lori. She's visiting this weekend. She's thinking about moving here."

Lori smiled at Rick and Shane and extended her hand.

"Happy Birthday," Lori said as she shook Rick's hand.

Rick smiled at Lori. She had long brown hair that cascaded to her shoulders in waves.

"Thank you," he said.

"Oh, I like this song," Cheryl whined.

Shane rolled his eyes at her. "Well come on then, let's go," he said. He grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor.

Rick watched Shane as he got dangerously close to Cheryl. He felt something stir in him, something that felt too close to jealousy. He shook his head and turned to Lori. "You want a drink?" he asked.

"I thought you'd never ask. I'll have what you're having," she said. She climbed onto the bar stool next to Rick and sprinkled some salt on her hand.

"So what do you do, Rick?" she asked.

"I am a police officer," he said.

"Oh really, that must be interesting."

"It has it's perks," he said.

They lifted their shot glasses and knocked them together lightly. After they took the shot, Lori looked over at the dance floor where Shane and Cheryl were both taking turns singing a song to each other.

"She really likes him," Lori mused.

Rick felt his heart hammering against his chest.

"He's…a great guy," he said.

There was an awkward moment. Rick finally asked Lori if she wanted to dance. He pulled her onto the floor and shot a glance at Shane who seemed to be having too much of good a time.

A slower song came on and Rick pulled Lori closer to him. He looked over at Shane who had done the same with Cheryl.

Shane finally broke his gaze with Cheryl and looked over her shoulder. He caught Rick's gaze and he felt his cheeks flush. He quickly turned his attention back to Cheryl.

Rick imagined for a moment that him and Shane were alone on the dance floor. He closed his eyes and saw him and Shane together instead of him and Lori. When he opened his eyes, Shane and Cheryl were in a lip-lock. Rick unconsciously licked his own lips, remembering the feeling of Shane's lips on his. Lori pulled him back to her and smiled at him.

"You okay?" she asked.

He nodded at her and quickly leaned over and kissed her. The kiss was nice, Rick thought. Lori was sweet and she was a good kisser, not as good as Shane, but she would do. Rick marveled at how the night had quickly turned into a completely different monster from what it had been before. As the song ended, Lori pulled away from Rick.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom," she said.

Cheryl spotted Lori leaving the dance floor. She whispered something into Shane's ear and then skipped off behind Lori.

Shane walked up to Rick with a rueful smile. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and motioned to the door.

Rick reluctantly followed Shane outside of the bar.

Shane lit a cigarette and handed one to Rick.

Rick lit his cigarette and took a small puff. "Man I hate these things," he said.

"You like her?" Shane asked.

Rick shrugged. "She's nice."

"Cheryl is such a sweet gal. I was thinking of bringing her back to the apartment…"

"Damnit Shane is this some kind of joke to you?"

Shane blew a cloud of smoke through his lips and glanced at Rick out of the corner of his eye.

"Well why don't I take you home and give you your birthday present?" he asked huskily. He threw his cigarette down on the ground and watched the bright orange glow disappear beneath his shoe.

"What about the girls?" Rick asked.

"Stop being such a good boy all the fucking time, they're big girls, they can handle it," he whispered.

Rick glanced at the doorway to the bar and then threw his cigarette on the ground.

"Alright, let's go. Wait. We can at least send her a text message," he said.

Shane rolled his eyes. "Fine, send her a damn text message. I'm gonna get a cab."

* * *

Back at the apartment, Rick was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed.

"Can I open them now?" he whined.

"No!" Shane said. His voice was muffled; it sounded far away.

Shane finally emerged from the bedroom and sat next to Rick on the couch. "You can open your eyes now," he said.

Rick opened his eyes slowly and turned to Shane. He glanced down at Shane's hand where he tightly held onto a small black box. Rick heard blood rush through his ears and his heart was suddenly beating wildly. Was this what he thought it was?

Shane grinned at him. "It took me a long time to figure out what to get you. But when I saw this, I knew immediately that it was yours," he said. He offered the box to Rick. "Happy Birthday," he said softly.

Rick took the box and ran his thumb across the velvet.

"Open it," Shane urged.

Rick smiled at him wanly and fumbled to open the box. Shane made a noise with his mouth and snatched the box away from Rick's fingers. He quickly opened the box and handed it to Rick. Rick let out a small sigh of relief when he saw that inside the box was a pendant and not a ring. It was a small pendant in the shape of a shield. Engraved on it's silver surface was St. Michael, the patron saint of all police officers. Rick felt a knot build in his throat and he did his best to not let any tears spill onto his cheeks. When he turned it over, he saw that something had been engraved on the back as well. It simply said, _Always, S. _

"Shane I…don't know what to say."

"Thank you would be nice," Shane replied with a grin. He took the box once again and removed the pendant and chain slowly. "Turn around," he said.

Rick turned his back to Shane and allowed him to hook the clasp. When he was done, Rick touched the pendant and leaned over to kiss Shane.

"I love it so much, Shane. Thank you," he whispered.

"I got it so he can watch over you when I'm not there. I can't be there for you all the time, so I made sure to get someone to look after your goofy ass in my place," he said.

Rick laughed. "I'm not goofy," he said.

Shane made a face. "Yes you are…accident prone mother fucker."

Rick hiccupped and rose from his seat. The whole room was suddenly spinning around him. "Oh shit man, didn't realize how much I drank. Fuck," he said, plopping back down on the chair. "You know, for a moment there I got scared," he slurred.

"Why?" Shane asked.

Rick hesitated before he answered. "I thought…I thought there was gonna be a ring in that box," he said.

Shane chuckled. "A ring? Why would there be a ring in there?"

"Yeah, you're right. Why would there be?"

There was a short silence and then Shane reached forward and threaded his fingers with Rick's. "I'm sorry, Rick. But you know I can't do that. I can't give you what you want."

Rick's eyes were brimming with tears. "But why? What's so hard about it?"

Shane pulled away from Rick. "I don't know. I just don't think I can be what you want me to be," he said.

"I love you, Shane. But I don't know how much longer I can live in the dark like this."

"Why can't we just keep things the way they are? We were fine until you started…spouting off all this…commitment stuff and…I—"

"But what's wrong with it? We've been together for years—"

"Together? We've just been…sleeping around, Rick…" Shane said.

"So what we've had means nothing more to you?"

"Don't do that, Rick. You know it's not true," Shane whispered. "Come here," he said.

Reluctantly, Rick crawled into Shane's arms.

Shane held onto Rick tightly as he cried. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you cry on your birthday," he said.

Rick wiped his eyes and then pulled away from Shane. "I'm sorry too," he said.

"You shouldn't have to apologize. I'm the asshole, here."

"No, it's me. You've given me a lot, Shane. I don't think you'll ever know just how much. And I keep pushing you for something that you're not comfortable with and…I shouldn't do that."

Shane didn't respond. He twirled his high school ring on his finger.

"I'm okay, Shane. I'm okay with this."

Shane looked at Rick. "With what?"

"With us, and the way we are."

"I want…more…but I don't know if I can give you more," Shane said sadly.

"We'll figure it out," Rick said.

Shane turned to Rick and took his hand. "I can handle that," he whispered. He leaned over and kissed Rick softly on the lips. "Okay, are you ready for part two of your birthday present?"

Rick smiled and nodded.

Shane got up from the couch and headed over to the kitchen. Moments later, he returned with a small cake on a platter. He had haphazardly stuck several candles in the cake. He placed the cake on the table and sat on the floor. "Make a wish," he said excitedly.

Rick slid down onto the ground and looked at the cake. "Wow, Shane, you really didn't have to do all of this," he said.

"I wanted to," he said.

Rick closed his eyes and made a wish. A few seconds later, he opened his eyes and blew out the candles.

"Oh shit, I forgot to get a knife and fork," Shane said.

Rick grinned and had a twinkle in his eye. He reached forward and sunk his fingers into the cake. He took a bite of it and then he offered a piece to Shane. Shane laughed and bit into the cake. Rick laughed when he saw the frosting all over Shane's mouth.

"You got a little something there on your face," he said with a laugh. Rick reached forward, and instead of wiping the icing away, he rubbed more cake onto Shane's face.

Within moments, they were both laughing and covered in cake. Rick gently pushed Shane down onto the floor and kissed him. His necklace dangled over Shane's throat.

"I love you, Shane Walsh."

Shane smiled and gently tugged on the chain.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered. He pulled Rick close to him and kissed him again. Rick tasted sweet; he tasted like icing and butter cream. Shane held onto him tightly and whispered something into Rick's ear.

Rick pulled back from Shane and stared at him. "What did you just say?" he asked.

"I said...I love you, Rick Grimes," he said quietly.

A smile broke out on Rick's face. "There's a first time for everything, I suppose," he said with an evil grin.

Shane ruefully smiled back at Rick.

"Can you say it one more time?" Rick joked.

Shane rolled his eyes. "You're lucky it's your birthday," he grumbled.

Rick rubbed some more cake onto Shane's face. "Does that mean I get to do whatever I want to you?" he whispered.

"In town for one night only," Shane said with a grin.

"Well let's get this show on the road," Rick said. He got up from the floor and Shane rose up behind him. Rick began walking toward the bedroom and then he stopped. "Can I hear it one more time?" he asked.

Shane rolled his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek. "I said I love you, Officer Rick Grimes! Is that good enough for you?" he shouted.

Rick laughed. "Best birthday present ever."

"Good, now stop talking and get your ass in the bedroom!" Shane said.

"Yes sir," Rick said with a smile. Rick made his way into the bedroom and Shane followed him.

Shane then closed the door and turned off the light.

* * *

**AN:** Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think :D

And to all the readers and the reviewers especially, thank you soooooo much! I really do appreciate all feedback :)


	6. The Ring

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything related to Walking Dead. The plot of this short piece is just a figment of my overactive imagination.

* * *

**"The Ring"**

There was blood. Not enough blood to warrant a visit to the ER, but enough blood to cause Shane to regret what he had done. Rick sat on the couch, stunned. The fingers on his left hand were already covered in blood. Some of it had trickled down onto his white shirt, why he had decided to wear a white shirt today he would never know. Shane stood over by the window, a lost look on his face. He was sweating and there was a bruise forming around his eye where Rick had hit him. Rick flexed his fingers in his right hand.

"You alright?" Shane finally asked, his voice somewhat shaky.

Rick shot him a dirty look and did not respond.

"You should get that cleaned up," Shane said gruffly.

"You should put some fucking ice on your eye then," Rick spat back. He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.

Shane followed. Shane watched Rick as he washed the blood off his hand in the kitchen sink. He ripped off several sheets of paper towels and gingerly pressed it against the open wound on his chin. Shane opened a cupboard and pulled out a first aid kit that someone had given to them as a house-warming present. It was still wrapped in plastic.

Rick stood by with the paper towel on his chin and observed Shane as he struggled to open the first aid kit. Rick angrily walked over to the fridge and opened the freezer. There were two ice trays, one completely empty and one half full. He took out the ice tray and set it down on the counter.

Moments later, Rick stood still as Shane properly cleaned the wound on his chin. He winced when he touched it with his finger to apply some Neosporin. When Shane was done, he tenderly peeled a bandage and affixed it to Rick's skin. He stepped back to survey his work. Rick did not give him a smile or a thank you.

Wordlessly, Rick took the makeshift icepack he had made and gently pressed it against the dark swelling on Shane's face. He made a face when the ice touched his skin but he quickly relaxed as the pain throbbing in his face finally began to settle down.

"You should take an aspirin," Rick said.

"I will," Shane said quietly.

Rick walked over to the kitchen sink and opened the faucet. He filled a glass with some water and then he walked over to the fridge. On top of the fridge was an old basket with vitamins and aspirin and other things they forgot they had.

Shane listened in silence as Rick shook out two aspirin into his palm. He continued to press the ice against his face. It felt good.

Rick wordlessly handed Shane the pills and the glass of water. He made sure Shane swallowed them both down and then he took the empty glass and placed it in the sink. When Shane was done, he opened his mouth, unsure of what to say. Rick walked out of the kitchen before Shane could say a word.

Shane heard the bathroom door slam and he cringed. Shane knew he fucked up this time, on epic proportions.

Rick stood in front of the bathroom mirror and observed his face for any more cuts or bruises. He spied an old hickey on his neck, and a faint scratch on his forehead. Other than that and his chin, he had rolled out of the fight pretty much unscathed. He looked down at his knuckles that had made contact with Shane's skin. He remembered the feeling of Shane's bones and his skin against his smooth knuckles. For a moment, he had forgotten himself and the world was nothing but him, Shane and the bit of floor where he had managed to pin Shane down. He had been holding onto his collar and he had been shouting something at him. After Rick had punched him in the face, Shane had somehow managed to roll him over and that was when he had punched him on the chin. That was when his ring had cut Rick's flesh and the blood had started dribbling out of the wound. Rick braced his hands against the sink and felt hot tears bubbling in his eyes. He allowed them to fall onto his face and he let out a choked sob.

Shane heard the clear sound of Rick crying in the bathroom. He pressed his forehead against the door and knocked gently.

"Rick, can you open up?" he asked.

"No," Rick said.

"Please. You know I don't like you crying," Shane implored.

"Go away, Shane. I don't want to talk to you right now," Rick said.

Shane pounded his fist against the door.

"Rick open the damn door! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Rick suddenly opened the door and glared at Shane. His face was streaked with tears and he struggled to wipe them away.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I want...to apologize."

"And what the hell is that supposed to do?" Rick asked.

When Shane didn't have an answer for him, Rick pushed past him and walked away. Shane followed him into the bedroom.

Rick pulled his backpack out from the closet and set it down on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Shane asked.

Rick opened his drawer and began to take out some clothes.

"I'm going to a shelter," he said.

"What? Why in the hell would you do that?"

"Because, I have no money to pay the rent. I have no money to help with the bills. All of the money I saved I spent on this place, I have nothing, Shane."

"We're graduating in less than two months, Rick. You'll be getting salary then. You don't have to worry about it, I told you already," Shane said.

"I don't want your money."

"What the hell man? You know money is no problem for me. I told you that you could stay here and I would take care of everything!"

"That's the problem, Shane. I don't want you to take care of me. I'm a grown man. I should do that on my own."

"So what, just because you're a little broke and I'm helping you out that makes you less of a man? You can pay me back if it means so much to you."

Rick continued to wordlessly stuff clothes into the backpack. When he was done, he zipped it up and sat down on the bed.

"It's not right. I shouldn't have to put you through this, you shouldn't be spending your money on me like that."

"It's my daddy's money. I could do whatever I want with it, and if I want to pay our rent for the next two months, and our bills, and buy food, who gives a fuck? No one will know. I don't want you in a shelter, okay? I know whatever I said earlier, it sounded fucked up, and I'm sorry. I just don't want you to go. I'd rather you stay here and I'll leave if I'm the problem," Shane said.

Rick remained quiet. He observed Shane's face, his swollen eye and the tears that threatened to fall.

"Look, Rick. I don't know what else to say to make you stay. Don't do this. Please."

Shane looked down at the ground and then looked at the ring on his finger. He spun it around for a moment and then he began to pull it off.

"Shane what are you doing?" Rick asked.

Shane continued to struggle until his class ring finally came off. He studied it for a moment and then looked over at the window. He pulled his arm back and tossed the ring out the open window.

"I'm sorry. I fucked up. I'm so sorry I hurt you," Shane whispered. He walked over to the bed and sat next to Rick.

"I'm sorry I hit you, your eye is so swollen, oh God. I'm so sorry Shane," Rick said. "You've always had money. You grew up never having to worry about how you were getting your next meal or...if you could get a new pair of shoes because your old ones have holes. It's hard for me. I've worked so hard to save money and...everything I had I put into this place. The furniture, the deposits, the car."

"I know, Rick. But you never wanted me to help. You wanted to do everything on your own."

"It felt good to do things on my own."

"I know. But you have to let me help you, Rick. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've known you for a long time, I know everything about you, you have to trust me on that. You can pay me back. I understand, you don't want to owe me. But isn't that what people do for the people they..." Shane's voice trailed off.

"For the people they what?" Rick asked.

"For the people they love," Shane finished.

Rick closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. His body began to shake as he cried.

Shane placed his hand on Rick's shoulder and then pulled him into an embrace. Soon enough, Rick was leaning into Shane and they began to kiss. Shane wrapped his arms around Rick and pulled him onto the bed. Rick pushed his backpack off the bed and onto the ground and they both laughed.

"How's your eye?" Rick asked.

Shane shrugged. "How's your chin?" he asked.

"Burning," Rick answered.

Shane buried himself in Rick's neck and began to suck on his flesh. He bit him gently and began to unbutton his shirt. Rick felt himself hardening under Shane's touch and he felt Shane's arousal on his leg as they began to undress each other.

"Fuck me, Shane," Rick whispered.

"I will," Shane growled. He flipped Rick over and inserted a finger inside of Rick. Rick moaned in pleasure as Shane continued to stretch Rick, preparing him for the next step. "You ready?" Shane asked gruffly. Rick had barely answered when Shane pushed himself into Rick, filling him.

They continued to fuck, Shane groaned as he came and he pulled out just in time to release his load all over Rick's ass. Rick turned around and Shane leaned over and kissed him.

"We're gonna have to change these sheets now," Rick said.

Shane shrugged. "Who cares?" Shane snuggled up next to Rick and closed his eyes.

"You think the neighbors can hear us?" Rick asked. He looked over at Shane whose eyes were drooping on their own as he fell asleep.

"I...hope so..." he said as he fell asleep.

Rick studied his face. He looked at the swelling eye, at his lips and at his nose. He leaned over and kissed Shane on the lips then he crawled out of the bed.

He pulled on his jeans and his shirt and left the bedroom. He grabbed his keys and left the apartment. When he got downstairs, he went over to the window where Shane had tossed his ring. He shone the small flashlight on his keys around in the bushes until he saw something glitter in the darkness. Shane's ring. He picked it up and noted he dried blood on the corner. He slipped it onto his finger and watched how the gold shimmered in the moonlight.

His hand absentmindedly rubbed the bandage over his chin as he pocketed the ring. When he got back upstairs, Shane was sound asleep. Rick pulled off his clothes once more and turned off the light. He got into the bed next to Shane and pulled the covers up over their bodies. Shane turned to face Rick and buried himself into Rick. He continued to sleep. Rick placed the ring on the bedside table and turned off the lamp. He ran his fingers through Shane's curly hair and remembered what he had said to him earlier: _Isn't that what people do...for the people they love? _

Rick closed his eyes and went to sleep.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I was on vacation! Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. Also, hope you were not too disturbed by my awful sex scene, lol. I'm terrible at those!

-LB


End file.
